You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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