pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
it's like iHOP with fire
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need water and some morals
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
