well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
