walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
