Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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