Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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