oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
