my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
