we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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