Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
