...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
