and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
this boner is exhausting
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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