I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
