He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
