shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
