I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
