Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
