you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
