5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
