Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
