i just google imaged poop.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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