Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
