I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
