i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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