remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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