he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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