I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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