I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
