i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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