Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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