tonight lets celebrate not being married
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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