i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
