Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
