So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
