I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
