Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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