can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
