She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
