I think my fart just growled at me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
