Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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