am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
