Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
