barbara walters just said penis...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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