Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
