that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
