Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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