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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
