So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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