the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She said her name was "party"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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