i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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