Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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