Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
